| Joseph Byrne Thursday, April 25, 2013 |
President Obama’s introduction of Kamala Harris is something that has raised a few eyebrows. He introduced her as brilliant, dedicated, tough and “by far, the best looking attorney general in the country.” The President made this introduction on April 4th at a Democratic fundraiser and many people accused him of sexism.
It is something that other people, both male and female, have had to deal with, but is it really offensive and sexist? That is the question that many are asking. When did being called beautiful or given other compliments translate into a bad thing?
One corporate coach tells of how a senior-level colleague introduced her as smart, capable, and beautiful. She says, “I was so uncomfortable. The first time it happened I remember standing there waiting to take the front of the room and thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, I can’t believe he just said that.’” When she asked him to stop, he said, “But you ARE beautiful.” He has never introduced her like that again and they have worked together for over a decade since then.
When the President introduced the Attorney General that way, it was national news. He called her and apologized, but is it something that everyone should have got so up in arms about? One author says, “If we all end up trending toward the center we become pure vanilla. It’s boring and it’s a huge loss.”
He, and other compliance experts, agree that the tone, pattern of behavior, and context mean much more than the words themselves. Ingrid Fredeen, labor lawyer, says,” Whenever you’re in some kind of a male-dominated world, there are always many sides to a compliment. Some of them are just pure. They don’t mean anything other than, ‘You have a nice jacket on.’ End of story.”
Compliments alone, however, do not mean that you are being sexually harassed. The atmosphere in your workplace can be very telling and what kind of relationship you have with the other person. Is it someone that you go to lunch with or hang out with in the lunchroom or is it a person that you are not that close with? This can make all the difference in how the compliment is taken.
joeb@longislandyellowpages.com Appears In: Jobs & Careers
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